"THE OFFICIAL LUBE OF THE LIVING"
Our story begins with the need for protecting the lives of living people who are being relentlessly pursued by members of the undead community. One of our best friends called in a panic and asked if we had something for his weapons that was not gooey, runny, or sticky, that would enable him to be ready to defend his family at all times. It seems he had to stop a surprise attack, and he had difficulty holding on to his weapon because of the old greasy lube he had used. The Zombie Lube chemists and hunters went to work and designed a lubricant that will protect the surface and working parts of your weapon. Zombie Lube gives you a higher muzzle velocity because of its increased lubricity. It also dries to the touch and will not leave a residue on your weapon. While we were testing Zombie Lube Gun Cleaner Lubricant, our life-loving scientists also developed Zombie Lube Penetrating Spray Lubricant for use in the home, on your car, and on anything that needs to operate smoother and be protected against corrosion. Following extensive testing in the field, we can say with confidence Zombie Lube has solved the problem.
As you know, Zombies are misguided creatures that have been misunderstood for thousands of years. The worst thing you can say about a Zombie is they want to bite you and add you to their family. The result is we then become part of the undead walking around in slow circles, making weird noises and looking for people to bite. That is not necessarily bad, but most of us would prefer to stay on the other side of happiness during our lifetime.
Zombie Lube bridges the gap between Zombies and people. Zombie Lube Gun Cleaner and Lubricant has one designated purpose, keeping your firearm and your home, auto, tools, and other special equipment in a ready condition so you will always be able to protect yourself from the undead.
Zombie Lube Penetrating Spray Lubricant (PSL) has many uses in your every day life. Tools that have to function, doors and windows that must open and close, car hoods and trunk lids, hinges on kitchen cabinets, many uses with fishing tackle, especially lubricating fishing reels, are all part of the many PSL uses that will make your life easier. PSL also is a great cutting fluid that will preserve the life of drill bits and saw blades because of its superior lubricating power. Cutting edges stay sharp longer, and run cooler because of the reduced friction. PSL is a superb lubricant for all of your general lubricating needs.
Zombies will always come after you, and the only way to stop them is to return them to their final resting place. Zombie Lube will allow you to assist the misguided, slow walking, living people chasing creatures in ending their journey, giving them peace for all time, and ending your concerns for you and your loved ones. Our testing program was able to assist thousands of these people-biting ghouls in their effort to rest comfortably forever. We know you will find Zombie Lube to meet all your Zombie hunting needs, and will be the choice of lubricant for protecting your loved ones.